Tarah Holloman
ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Hypermobility, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome
Tarah Holloman (she/her, they/them) shares her journey of self-discovery, from navigating life with ADHD, anxiety, depression, and hypermobility, to embracing her identity as a Black woman and disability advocate.
Discussing Disability
Laura: Would you mind sharing about your disability?
Tarah: Not at all. I have a very weird journey with my disability. I have ADHD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression, and recently found out I have an autoimmune disease. I also have a hypermobility disorder, and all of my diagnosis are due to the hypermobility disorder.
Laura: Wow, that’s a lot to navigate.
Tarah: Yeah, and for so long, I didn’t even realize how everything was connected.
Laura: So did you just find out that you're hypermobile? How did that come to light?
Tarah: Honestly, it was Katie. [Katie is the Advocacy Director at the Disability Network in Flint, MI where she and Tarah work. [You can read Katie's interview for the Portraits of Persons with Disabilities project here.]].
Laura: Oh, I was going to ask!
Tarah: Seriously, if it wasn’t for her, I don’t think I’d have figured it out. I was just talking to her about my body, my pain, and my experiences. At some point, it clicked, and she was like, “I think you’re hypermobile.”
I’ve danced my whole life, but because I was heavy as a kid, nobody cared. People just thought, “Oh, you’re a fat girl who’s flexible.” Then I lost all the weight, but the flexibility stayed—and so did the pain. I was always in pain, but everyone dismissed it. They said, “It’s your weight. You’re obese. Lose the weight, and the pain will go away.” Well, at 22, I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis. The doctor told me, “You have arthritis like a 75-year-old woman,” and I was like, “Excuse me? I’m 22.”
But then, at 28, I blew my knee out and completely tore my meniscus. When I went in for the MRI, the doctor looked at the scan and said, “What have you been doing your whole life?” I told him, “I’ve just been living… I danced.” That’s when he said, “You have a completely severed ACL. It’s been that way for years—there’s old blood attached to it.”
Laura: Oh my god, and you were walking around like that?
Tarah: Right? The doctor couldn’t believe it either. He said, “I don’t know how you’re walking like this.” And I just told him, “Well, I’m always in pain. I don’t know—I’m just used to it.” You know? It’s hard to explain.
Apparently, I severed my ACL when I was 14. I know exactly when it happened. I was in dance class, and we were learning doubles for the first time. I nailed a pirouette, but then my knee went one way, and I went the other. I landed on the floor, embarrassed and in so much pain.
I got up, went to the bathroom, splashed water on my face, and looked in the mirror. I told myself, “Suck it up. Do it again.” So I went back to class, finished the day, and went home. I refused to let my mom take me to the doctor. Then, about two years later, I got in a car accident and messed up the other side.
Laura: And that was your good side?
Tarah: Yeah, it was. So I just figured, “I have messed up joints, and that’s normal.” I’m a dancer—I fall a lot. I didn’t realize that none of those things were actually normal.
Katie really helped me make sense of it all. She kind of wrapped it up in a bow for me, and after that, I started talking to my doctors about it.
Laura: Do you think you might have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS)? I know hypermobility is a spectrum—like, I don’t have EDS, but I’m hypermobile.
Tarah: I haven’t been officially diagnosed, but if there are 10 symptoms of EDS, I have about 9 ½ of them. Katie even said, “You have all the signs.” So, yeah, I really do think I have it—I just don’t have the official diagnosis. I have all the symptoms, though.
Laura: Yeah, honestly, just saying you have it makes sense. I mean, the diagnosis would be good for you personally, but that can take forever.
Tarah: Exactly. At this point, I just say, “Yeah, I have EDS.”
Laura: So the word “hypermobility”, how old were you when you started using it?
Tarah: Everyone called it double jointed. So like, they just were like, “Oh, that's weird, you’re double jointed.” I was like, “Is that a cool thing”?
I didn’t mind being weird, though. I love being weird. I figured, “I don’t want to be like you; I want to be like me.”
Doctors always called it “weird” and then moved on. No one ever addressed it. Even my physical therapists and occupational therapists would say, “It’s weird that your body does that—it’s not normal.”
Like, my SI joint [the joint at the back of the pelvis] doesn’t stay in place. When I was dancing, I would literally pop it out of its socket, and I couldn’t figure out why I suddenly couldn’t walk. They’d put it back, but the moment I stood up, it would pop out again.
Laura: I get that. I didn't know until a few years ago that what I was feeling in my joints was something dislocating, I never had that language before. It's so crazy how you can live not knowing.
Tarah: And you don't know if other people have this experience or if it's not normal.
Laura: Exactly.
Tarah: I hate the word normal, but you know what I mean.
Laura: Wow, well, I’m so happy to have you in the hypermobile family. We bend all over.
Tarah: That's my favorite thing to say. I'm just super bendy.
Laura: Is anyone else in your family hypermobile?
Tarah: Funny you ask. A couple of months ago, I was sitting with my stepsisters and our sister, and we were talking about my younger brother, Trey. They said, “We’re really worried about him—we think he has hypermobility issues.” I was like, “Shut up!”
Trey’s been having serious knee issues, and his physical therapist is still trying to figure it out. That’s when I realized this is genetic. My dad has terrible joints. My grandpa had long, skinny fingers like mine—they’re overly flexible—but he also had severe arthritis. By the time he was older, his joints froze completely. And I’m sitting there thinking, “Nobody’s going to check this out? This runs in the family!”
Plus the neurodivergent side of it. My brother has autism and we're about 99% sure my dad does too. So I'm like, “I have ADD/ADHD like a mofo, like come on now.”
Laura: Isn’t it wild how neurodivergence and hypermobility are connected? I think I read that 30% of people with ADHD or similar conditions also have connective tissue issues.
Tarah: It makes so much sense. When you think about it, if everything in your brain is moving so fast, maybe it’s because everything—literally everything—is just too smooth.
What do you do for fun?
Laura: What do you like to do for fun?
Tarah: I kind of like to do everything.
Laura: Another ADD thing…
Tarah: Yeah, for sure! But obviously, dance is my big thing. I love creative arts—dance, music, going to Broadway shows. I also love karaoke, being silly, being weird and laughing a lot. But, I also love to be in nature. I like to read, journal, and write. I’m definitely both sides of the spectrum—super creative and super introspective.
Laura: Yeah, you’re someone who loves living but also values solitude.
Tarah: Exactly. There’s no in-between.
Laura: What do you like to write?
Tarah: I like to write poetry. I also write nonfiction—mainly self-help and empowerment pieces. I’m kind of a therapist already, so my writing reflects that. I’m working toward becoming an LPC.
Laura: Did someone tell me you run some kind of art program here?
Tarah: Yes! I run TD & Connect, which is our free recreation and health program. Through that, I also lead an art class at the Flint Institute of Arts. We’re working on expanding to other organizations, like starting adaptive dance classes.
Right now, I’m also a Chair One fitness instructor—I teach chair fitness here. I do a lot of creative and mental health work. For example, I teach coping skills, goal planning, budgeting, and independent living skills. But I also focus on helping people get “unstuck.”
We all get stuck sometimes, and usually, we’re our own biggest obstacles. I try to help people embrace their quirks—like, “Let’s figure out what makes you weird so you can feel at home in it. Then, once you’re okay with it, you can advocate for yourself and others.” It’s all about owning who you are.
Laura: That’s really cool. You do so much!
Tarah: It works for me—and for my ADHD!
Laura: Yeah, it definitely sounds like it does. So are you working on getting licensed for therapy or social work?
Tarah: Yeah, right now I’m a CTRS, which stands for Certified Therapeutic Recreation Specialist. My next step is getting my master’s degree, so I can move into therapy.
Inspiration & Motivation
Laura:Cool, what a fun way to interact with people. Next question, what motivates or inspires you?
Tarah: People. I have this deep compassion for others—I just love people. I believe we’re all here together, so let’s figure it out. We’re meant to have a human experience, and we should nurture that, both for ourselves and for each other.
I feel like right now, in our culture, in this world, it's very negative, and it's very externally focused. No one is paying attention to the self. No one is nurturing the self, which means you're not nurturing anyone outside of yourself either. Everything's deteriorating and dying and sad and tragic and I want to help us come back to life.
Change for the Future
Laura: So eloquently said. So what change would you like to see for disabled people in the future?
Tarah: That… is a deep question. I know we have the ADA, which was such a pivotal step forward, but I wish we had that same energy going forward—an energy where the whole world just acknowledges, “Yeah, we’re all people, with different abilities.” I wish people would truly see that.
Instead, we’ve created this whole “colorblind culture.” I was raised in it—my parents used to say, “Everybody’s the same. You’re the same. It doesn’t matter that you’re brown and she’s white.” And sure, that’s a beautiful idea to an extent, but it’s also hurtful.
Even now, at almost 40, I’m just learning how to be proud of being a Black woman. You know what I mean? I spent so much time trying to fit in with everyone else that it was hard to step into myself. And so, I want people with disabilities to know it’s okay to be different, to not fit into what everyone else thinks is “normal.” And I want other people to realize they likely have a disability too—and just fucking own it. That’s how I feel. Look in the mirror, accept who you are, so you can accept the people around you. Chances are, you have something. Got pain in your elbow? That’s a disability, honey. I’ve got arthritis. You wear glasses? That’s a disability. Have a little third nipple nobody knows about? Like, come on now, everybody’s weird.
Laura: Stop trying to act so “normal" all the time.
Tarah: I want for the new norm to be seeing someone with an assistive device or a visible disability and people respect them—not make their disability the first thing they notice or the thing that defines them.
Laura: I get that. As a disabled person, I just want to be Laura. Just let me be Laura.
Tarah: Right? Cause that's all you are.
Laura: And all that other stuff is just a part of me.
Tarah: It's just a little piece of who you are. I do feel like now that I've learned that I have hypermobility or EDS, I have to own that. It makes me make more sense to myself. But it doesn’t change who I am or how I move in the world. So why should it change how others see me?
Laura: Exactly. You are who you are.
Tarah: Some people can't talk, some people can't hear, some people can’t see–and that's okay. We’re all here to support each other, right?
Laura: Right. If we all just accepted our own weirdness, God, life would be so much easier.
Tarah: Exactly! Let’s all just look in the mirror and say, “I love you.” Love yourself. Cry it out, because yeah, it’s uncomfortable at first. But once you accept yourself, everything gets lighter.
Laura: I love your message—it really does start with you. Accept yourself, love yourself, and then you can love other people.
Tarah: Thank you. It's my mantra.
Laura: It's a good one. You're an excellent therapist. Anything else you want to say or add?
Tarah: I am very excited for your project.
Laura: Oh, thank you!
This was such a lovely interview and I learned so much! Thanks for introducing us to Tarah. (And beautiful photos!)